So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
