I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
