she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
