I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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