Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
