how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
