Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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