I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
