By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
