I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
