turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You don't make any sense
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