mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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