Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
