Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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