You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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