omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
