just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize