in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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