I will die if light touches me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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