Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we should paint friendship bongs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize