one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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