I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
