so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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