After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
MIDGETS
????
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
