I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
