you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
