But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
