They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
