I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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