Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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