Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
