Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
