Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Found the puke drawer
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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