I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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