meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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