he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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