just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
