i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
