She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
