I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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