She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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