I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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