Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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