Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
