4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
