After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
