Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
