Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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