I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
