shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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