Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
