It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize