apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize