In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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