I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
