I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Holy sore nipples Batman
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
