i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
