this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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