woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
