She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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