One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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