I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
