Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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