Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
