He disabled his match.com account in front of me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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