After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize