Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
