I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
